NEW: Lazy Money Issue 29

Happy Sunday!

Today: the greatest consumer hack of the decade, wasted on goat yoga.

The Story

The year was 2010. Groupon was the fastest-growing company in history. Zero to billion-dollar valuation in 16 months. Faster than Google. Faster than Facebook.

Andrew Mason, the 29-year-old music major CEO, found a consumer kink stronger than sex, status, or free shipping: people will happily pay today for the promise of savings tomorrow.

83 million people signed up. Credit cards locked and loaded. A direct line into America's wallets.

Then Google showed up with a $6 billion check. The biggest acquisition offer in tech history at the time.

Mason said no. He had the tiger by the tail. The machine was printing money and showed no signs of stopping.

So what'd they do with this once-in-a-generation discovery, you ask?

Goat yoga. Haunted house tours. Discounted lasagna at restaurants that would close in six months.

Generational fumble.

Today, Groupon's stock is down 98% from its peak. Mason got fired and announced it through a corporate poem (true story). The company that turned down $6 billion is now worth $400 million.

Meanwhile, from Groupon's ashes, the phoenixes rose:

ClassPass took the pay-now-save-later model and applied it to gym memberships. $1 billion valuation.

Honey automated the whole thing at checkout. PayPal bought them for $4 billion.

Rakuten turned it into a cashback empire. $11 billion market cap.

Same core mechanism, just aimed at things people actually wanted.

Groupon discovered fire and used it to roast marshmallows while everyone else forged empires.

Don’t make the same mistake.

How To Profit

• Subscription Command Center🔄💳

Subscriptions are a silent killer - $4.99 here, $12.99 there - until your bank account’s bleeding from a hundred digital paper cuts. It’s time someone fixed this.

Build a dashboard aggregator that pulls from bank feeds, email receipts, and app permissions. It spots that Netflix just went up by £2 and pings you. It sees you opened Hulu twice in 3 months and tells you to kill it. It scans for hidden Adobe coupon codes, finds one, and applies it automatically. Spotify’s offering 3 months free to switchers? You get a one-click swap button.

Option for automation rules like “Cancel anything I haven’t used in 60 days.” Or “If I use under 10GB, downgrade my phone plan.”

Pro tip: a Trial Slayer Mode that auto-enrols in every free trial, canceling them just before billing hits.

You charge $10/month or $99/year.

• Corporate Benefits Arbitrage LLC 🏢💼

Corporate perks are real. Companies routinely get 30% off software, hotels, phone plans, gym memberships.Meanwhile, freelancers get expired Honey coupons and vibes. You flip that.

Set up a legit company that acts as a for-profit Freelancers Union.

People pay $49/year to join as “affiliated contractors.” You give them a contract and a company email. Boom - they’re in.

Suddenly, the doors open. Adobe? Corporate rates. Verizon? Contractor plans. Hilton? Negotiated corporate rates.

A legit company, structured as a buying group, turning lonely freelancers into a force big enough to demand the discounts they should’ve had all along. It’s collective bargaining disguised as a business model.

• Local Services Membership Network 🏘️🛠️

Groupon tried to make you impulse-buy skydiving trips. You don’t need that. What people actually want cheaper is dentists, mechanics, vets, plumbers, handymen. The boring, essential stuff.

So you flip it into a membership. $39/month gets residents priority slots, emergency calls, and 20% off a curated network of local providers. The providers win because they get guaranteed flow without wasting on ads. Members win because they save money on the bills they can’t dodge anyway.

Launch it inside a single apartment complex or HOA. One building, one network, one clean proof of concept. Once it sticks, you expand block by block until you own whole neighbourhoods.

Think Costco for everyday services.

The Ace Toolkit

Ace's notebook, 1931: “If you own the billing cycle, you don’t need loyalty…just inertia.”

The Automatic Customer – Explains how to turn one-time buyers into permanent cashflow. Mandatory reading if you want your product to feel less like a sale, more like gravity.

Truebill (now Rocket Money) – Built a $1.3B exit on reminders and guilt. Didn’t invent anything.

If you’re still trying to “build community” instead of “own the billing cycle,” maybe business isn’t for you.

Until next time,

Alex

Founder //LZY MNY CLB