Lazy Money Issue 25

Happy Sunday!

Scams everywhere - lounges, VIP zones, fake upgrades. Today, learn to build the escape route.

The Story

Last week at Heathrow, I watched dozens of “premium” passengers queue outside a lounge like it was a Soviet breadline.

Finally get inside and it's...worse?

Crammed. Warm soft drinks, bored attendants. Stale finger sandwiches from 2019. Everyone's stressed, fighting over the three working outlets, pretending this is somehow better than sitting at the gate.

$500 a year for THIS?

We've long accepted airport lounges are broken. Like TSA lines. Like festival porta-potties. Just another modern nightmare we endure because…what’s the alternative?

Well what if the alternative isn't fixing what's broken?

What if it's building something better next door?

That’s the thing about proximity: sometimes the best spot isn't in the center of the action. It's 10 minutes away, where the rent's cheaper, the space is bigger, and nobody's fighting over breadcrumbs.

How To Profit

• Spirit Airlines...in a tuxedo?✈️

What if luxury flying had nothing to do with the plane?

Buy 100 seats on budget flights - short routes like NY to Miami, LA to SF, London to Amsterdam. Flights so short no one actually cares about the seat.

The luxury experience happens on the ground.

You build a private lounge 10 minutes from the airport. Real food, open bar, fast WiFi, no crowds. Then, a luxury coach, fast tracked private security and straight to the tarmac. You never enter the terminal. Your bags are already stowed overhead. You step off the bus and onto the plane like a boss.

Charge $500 per ticket. That’s $50k revenue per flight. Subtract around $7k for the seats, and even after $25k in operating costs (lounge, transport, staff, insurance), you’re clearing $18k profit…every flight.

Call it The One Hundred Club. Make it feel exclusive, even though they’re still flying Spirit. People will brag about gaming the system - luxury experience, budget flight, never set foot in an airport.

• The Waiting Room Alternative🛌

You know that special kind of hell when someone you love is in the hospital? You're camped out in hallways, sleeping on waiting room chairs, eating vending machine dinners at 3am. Can't leave because what if something happens. Can't stay because you're slowly losing your mind.

Build nice spaces next to hospitals where families can crash. Real beds, showers, kitchen, wifi. Most importantly, a direct hotline to the nurses' station so you're instantly reachable.

Hospitals will send families your way because they want them out of the hallways. Insurance might even cover some of it. Start with one location, see if it works, then copy-paste next to every major hospital.

• Festival Offsite VIP🎉

VIP tickets mean luxury. Ever heard this lie? Then you get there and it's just a slightly nicer porta-potty and shorter beer lines. You're still melting in the sun, can't hear yourself think, and paying $18 for warm Heineken.

Set up premium spaces just outside festival grounds. Close enough to walk back for your favorite sets, far enough to actually escape. Think real AC, silent zones, proper bathrooms, phone charging that actually works. Maybe even shower facilities so you don't smell like a barn animal by day three.

Then just follow the festival circuit. Same setup hits Coachella, Glastonbury, Burning Man, Austin City Limits. Festival kids recognize your brand and pre-book before they even buy festival tickets.

Brands will pay more for VIP comfort than fans will pay for tickets.

The Ace Toolkit

Ace always said, "The best real estate is where nobody thinks to look - one block away from obvious."

"The Geography of Nowhere" by James Kunstler - Shows how American spaces are designed wrong. Full of proximity problems begging for solutions.

Google Maps + 15 minute walk - Next time you’re stuck in a line, zoom out 15 minutes on Google Maps. That’s your business plan.

Remember, everyone's trying to fix what's broken. Try building next door instead.

Until next time,

Alex

Founder //LZY MNY CLB