Issue 16: Lazy History Toolkit

oldies but goldies to get you paid

Author

Alexander Pandrea
May 25, 2025

- 016 Issue -

Ok, so…

Mozart wrote a song called "Lick Me in the Ass" and it's copyright-free. Let me explain why this changes everything.

The Story

Imagine Abraham Lincoln live-tweeting the Civil War. Cleopatra giving TikTok tutorials on political charm. Napoleon delivering strategy masterclasses on YouTube.

How different would history hit?

The other night I was reading this Lincoln book and realized something: we've got 5,000 years of human drama just sitting there, but we're teaching it like it’s an IKEA assembly manual. 

So much drama, scandal, triumph, and failure—all documented, all free to use, all desperate to go viral. But instead of mining it, we've buried it under dates and treaties nobody cares about.

For instance, Mozart was an absolute shitposter. Beethoven was a deaf guy who refused to quit. Van Gogh? That weirdo ate yellow paint, thinking it would make him happy. He sold one painting. To his brother's friend, who bought it out of pity.

These were all content creators. They just died before monetization.

So here’s my proclamation from atop my kitchen stool: history isn't dead—it’s the greatest untapped content library on Earth.

Time for you to cash in.

How To Profit

  • Social Media Time Machine 📱

Turn dead people into influencers by recreating their lives through modern social formats. Take historical diaries, letters, and accounts, then transform them into Instagram stories, TikTok series, or Twitter threads as if these figures had smartphones.

Example: Anne Frank's diary transformed into daily Instagram stories has accumulated over 100 million views and is now receiving institutional funding for multiple translations.

Pro tip: Google's new VEO 3 can generate realistic historical recreations from text prompts. Type "Napoleon explaining why he invaded Russia" and get a video that looks like a period drama. Free content, zero actors.

  • Historical Figure Advice Columns 🗣️

Build AI-powered chatbots where users can have actual conversations with history's greatest minds. These aren't your average lame quote generators…they're sophisticated personas trained on everything that historical figure ever wrote, said, or believed.

Users simply visit your site, pick their advisor (Lincoln for leadership, Cleopatra for relationships, Marcus Aurelius for mental health), and start chatting. The AI responds in character, referencing actual historical examples from their life.

Pro tip: Start with one ChatGPT bot of a single historical figure. Once you get 1,000+ users, ask them who they want next. Then build a site combining all the popular ones. You're basically letting your audience build your product roadmap for free.

  • History's Hottest Merch Drops💀🛍️

Create branded items that historical figures would've actually endorsed based on what they were known for.

Think about it…if Napoleon were alive today, he'd absolutely have a productivity course. Cleopatra would be selling skincare. Einstein would sell brain supplements. They were the original influencers, they just died before merch was invented. So let's give them the product lines they deserve.

Example: I spent 30 seconds in ChatGPT and already designed three product lines: Machiavelli's Power Moves chess sets, Darwin's Evolution Energy Bars, or my favourite - Van Gogh's Ear Pods (one pod missing—limited edition). The ideas literally write themselves.

Pro Tip: Napoleon = free. Einstein = expensive lawyers. Start with anyone dead 150+ years, then use profits to license the newer legends.

The Ace Toolkit

Ace always said, "Ideas are worthless without execution.’’ Here's your shovel, your map, and your first X marks the spot.

Where to start tomorrow:

Ok now its your turn to use history to make your first million. Maybe start with that Mozart song while you’re at it.

Until next time,

Alex

Founder //LZY MNY CLB